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1.
Never use an elevator in a building that has been hit by a
nuclear bomb; use the stairs.
2.
When you’re flying through the air, remember to roll when you
hit the ground.
3.
If you’re on fire, avoid gasoline and other flammable materials.
4.
Don’t attempt communication with dead people; it will only
lead to psychological problems.
5.
Food will be scarce; you will have to scavenge. Learn to recognise foods that will be available
after the bomb: mashed potatoes, shredded wheat, tossed salad, ground
beef, etc…
6.
Put your hand over your mouth when you sneeze; internal organs
will be scarce in the post-nuclear age.
7.
Try to be neat; fall only in designated piles.
8.
Drive carefully in “Heavy Fallout” areas; people could be staggering
illegally.
9.
Nutritionally, hundred dollar bills are equal to ones, but
more sanitary due to limited circulation.
10.
Accumulate mannequins now; spare parts will be in short supply
on D-Day.